For many newcomers to France, one of the greatest challenges is actually to make sense of the French language which we studied years ago in school.

If youre lucky you can still remember a little vocabulary or how to conjugate verbs, the exceptions and the rules. Nevertheless, beware. french learned at school has its limitations. Its most unlikely that you will be able to impress anyone by asking Where is the station? Id like to book a room with a shower or even How do I get to the Eiffel Tower

So, soon after we moved here, we came to rely on two very dazzling pieces of advice:

If you cant contruct yourself understood, try saying it in a different way.
Learn how to inquire of politely for the French human to speak a little slower/clearer for example doucement, Sil vous plait (literally, softly please)
Let me give you an example. Our first summer here and we are living in a quiet little French village. We are ready to receive our first visitors, daughter, son-in law, & two young children; a family more used to seaside than countryside holidays. How do we keep the little ones entertained. The supermarket is full of little plastic paddling pools. We buy two. One for water and one for sand. Water, we have plenty of but we absolutely need to visit the DIY store in search of sand.

If I ever knew the French word for sand Id surely forgotten it long ago. We find a helpful assistant but contruct no headway. Even after playing the usual charade-like game, we still cannot build ourselves understood. I sense increasing frustration all round. Then I remember the first piece of useful advice. Find another way to say the identical thing. Sure enough, somewhere safely stored in my head was the French word for beach, so we ask for a sack of beach. Although this brings howls of laughter from every one within earshot triumph for us we get the sand.

We are now prepared for our visitors but the tap in the bathroom has started to drip, drip and drip. Happily our DIY skills extend as far as replacing a tap washer. Back to the DIY store. Sadly, not only do I not understand the French word for washer I cannot think of any sensible word as an alternative.

The assistant, helpful as ever, is determined not to be beaten this time by a simple thing like language but after a barrage of totally incomprehensible conversation I try the second piece of advice. Doucement, sil vous plait Ah, ah, the relief on his face shows us that at last we have made ourselves understood. Un moment he says and disappears. True to his word, a moment later he is back, Voila, deux ciment and from his laden trolley he produces two sacks of cement!

On our next visit to the DIY store we ignore the useful advice and take a dictionary instead.